The Perfect Pose

The perfect pose is an essential natural response not only when faced with the lens of a camera but at all times of day and night; never let your defences drop girls, the perfect pose can knock lbs off your weight and years off your age, as can black lycra, botox and a good bra!!!!

The perfect pose should become second nature from an early age and refined and adapted according to the circumstance. What is cute at 5 is a cringe at 50 so props such as Daddy’s lap is a definite no no for anyone over the age of 25, not only does it make you look like Anna Nicole Smith but it also makes “daddy” look like a rampant paedophile and, I can assure you, it will find its way onto “Awkward family photos.com” before you can say Ronnie Wood……….

“Tits out and bums in” is generally a good formula for a row of girlies; but hen nights and tarts on tour beware, get lined up, regulation is better than separation, “safety in masses hides fat asses”. Practice your pout mouth in the mirror. A good one is “Wogan”. Forget the old “say cheese” malarkey, it will only distort your lips to the shape of a Royal Mail letterbox and make you look like Cherie Blair, it plays havoc with your crows feet and if you have the slightest trace of a double chin forget it, NEVER ever open your mouth in public again!!!!

Models traditionally have a legacy of facial lines from a lifetime of forced smiling, I personally know an ex-model with wrinkles to match Mick Jagger, and so a parsimonious economy of “gurning” is to be recommended.

I can speak from a lifetime experience of having to hide fat knees and was pleased to see the likes of Kylie and Danni adopting the tried and tested recipe that I had thought I had invented many years ago, it’s simple, knees pressed firmly together in a vice like grip with one foot slightly before the other…da…..da …..see, this can give the impression of passable, if not perfect, knees. Check the Minogues out next time you see them on the red carpet!!

PFB has the perfect formula; right hand on hip, a side on twist of the waist, right leg slightly bent forward with a point of the toe…… its what she calls “the Paris Hilton” (not that Paris has a lot to recommend herself but her “people” do know how to promote her best assets and hide her huge feet!!!!). PFB has demonstrated this perfect pose at many a prem and red carpet do and it’s variation is currently being modelled on page 30 of this month’s Company High Street Edit magazine.